Thanksgiving will soon be upon us, as tends to happen every November. I don’t know about you, but this is always a mixed time of year for me. It’s a culturally sanctioned period of connection and good cheer, but how many people always experience it that way?
Not everyone, that’s for sure.
Most people I know find this time of year to be full of cyclical family….stuff. Logistics. Squabbles. Old patterns playing out among siblings. And if you’ve lost a family member recently or in the past, this person’s absence may be foremost on your mind.
My mother died 38 years ago, my father in 2005, and every year since, like clockwork, when Thanksgiving plans start hatching I miss them all over again.
If you’ve experienced major loss in the past, you may already know that missing that person from time to time is a natural way of honoring the relationship. It’s a way to keep acknowledging the love.
That’s why I’m calling my first free, live event next month for motherless daughters “You Don’t Have to ‘Get Over It’ (That Isn’t How Grief Works)”
This is the first live, international call of its kind and I’m so excited to do it with you! At the 45-minute event I’ll share my newest research about the long arc of grief, explain why we have flare-ups at certain times of the year, and answer questions in real time.
Please join me and women from all around the world on December 17 to learn about the long arc of grief and discuss how to make the holidays — and all occasions — happier.
We’ll offer the webinar at two different times that day so women in all time zones can join us live.
Visit motherlessdaughters.com to register and learn more
And while you’re there, don’t forget to check out our first workshop and retreat offerings for 2020!
** Two-Minute Coaching Tip: Coping With Holiday Envy **
Holiday envy is what we feel when we see a friend’s Facebook or Instagram photo of a crowded Thanksgiving table filled with smiling relatives.
Or when we hear someone complain about having to spend the first night of Hanukah at their mom’s house.
Or watch our kids run into our spouse’s parents’ arms on Christmas Day and wish they could spend the day with our parents, too.
We want to be happy for other people. Of course we do. But sometimes we can’t escape the envy that comes with wishing we had what they have, too.
At moments like these, I remember what a very wise teacher once told me during a workshop in Belize. In Belize, envy is considered a spiritual illness so it’s a good idea to release it if you can.
This teacher said that next time we feel envious of someone else’s good fortune we should pause, get centered, and then think, I wish I had what she had, and I wish she had ten times more. This allows us to own our desire and also to practice generosity at the same time.
Pretty good, right? I’ve used it many times over the years and you know what? It really works. Give it a try and let me know if it works for you, too.
Sending you very best wishes for a peaceful Thanksgiving and beyond,